It’s easy to fall into a dating trap in your 20′s. Everyone you know is partnered up, getting married, popping out a child, or what have you, and then rubbing it in your face on every social channel they can find. It can be rough to be a singleton in times like these. So in efforts to not get left behind, you beg your friends to set you up with their friends, you troll coffee shops and eventually give in and sign up for online dating.
Then bam! you meet someone. They seem cool, they’re attractive enough to warrant sexy time and they have a job, so I mean… that’s a plus. But some things aren’t clicking, they do weird stuff at times and you don’t like the way their apartment smells. You don’t want to throw in the towel though, you’re clearly being way too analytical and not giving them a fair chance. A few months pass and you’re still just kind of blah, but now you’ve been doing this for a few months, so why break up? So you keep dating.
Does this all sound familiar? If you’re between the ages of 20 and 30 years old, I can almost guarantee you’ve gone through one of these relationships in the past 5 years OR you’re going through it right now. One of these can be important for our relationship learning process, but more than one is just getting a little out of hand.
You just might not be into them or they just might be bad for you. See the ten signs (clearly not an exhaustive list) you’re dating the wrong person below and then analyze what you’ve got going on. If you are in fact dating the wrong person, it’s time to give them the heave ho and find someone awesome who doesn’t smell funny.
1. You are dating the wrong person if they want you to change for them. Do they complain about your hair, your waistline, your choice in food or movies? Do they complain enough where it’s apparent that it’s their attempt to manipulate you into change? If so, roll out.
2. You are dating the wrong person if they can not function without you. This is a dangerous one and escaping can be hard, but it has to be done. Relying on someone, trusting someone, and appreciating someone is amazing, but needing someone is not ok. Dating someone like this will become exhausting and they will continue to need you more and more.
3. You are dating the wrong person if they are extremely jealous and don’t trust you. It’s time to go if you have a partner that constantly questions your whereabouts, checks your phone and email and accuses of you of the smallest things (like looking at someone else).
4. You’re dating the wrong person if you don’t see a future with them. Sure, you can see going to the beach with them in a few months, maybe meeting their parents around the holidays, but do you see yourself getting married or having kids? If not…well, go.
5. You are dating the wrong person if they are cheating on you. Plain and simple, no explanation here. Stop making excuses and leave.
6. You’re dating the wrong person if you spend more time unhappy then happy. A relationship should bring joy and happiness to your life, not worry, stress, anger or sadness.
7. You are dating the wrong person if they abuse you in any way, shape or form, whether it be mental, physical or emotional abuse. Someone who loves you is not going to inflict any form of abuse upon you.
8. You are dating the wrong person if there isn’t chemistry in bed. Consider moving along if you constantly have to rely on your sex toys from Adam and Eve to get you off because your partner is either bad in bed or doesn’t care about your needs.
9. You are dating the wrong person if you don’t see your partner as an equal and as someone who inspires and challenges you. They might be pretty and fun, but you’re ultimately going to be bored if they don’t challenge you.
10. You are dating the wrong person if they disrespectful towards you. Dump them if they constantly insult you, flirt with other people in front of you, lie to you or have no concept of your needs or time.