Monthly Archives: October 2008

In case you were wondering.

In case you were wondering.

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20.

This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.

The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50!

However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. ‘Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.’

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant ever again, only monkeys everywhere!

And now, people, you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.

New tattoo

A blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant
seashell on her inner thigh.

Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo
and why in that location.

She responded, “It’s really cool. If you put
your ear up against the tattoo,
you can smell the ocean.”

NObama ’08

Because his head is up his ass.

What?

I’m not sure what the fuck he’s talkin about.

Trick or Treat

First and Second Amendements

Approval Rating of Congress

From an Australian political cartoon.

A Cowboy Story

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, ‘If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?’
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, ‘Sure, Why not?’
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, ‘You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.’
‘That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,’ says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the Bud says to the young man, ‘Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?’
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, ‘Okay, why not?’
‘You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government’, says Bud.
‘Wow! That’s correct,’ says the yuppie, ‘but how did you guess that?’
‘No guessing required.’ answered the cowboy. ‘You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows…this is a herd of sheep. .
Now give me back my dog.

Bob's Backyard is my place to share funny, offensive, and other shit I like. And hot babes/boobs. If you are easily offended, this place might not be for you. All the pictures and videos on bobs-backyard.com are the property of their respective owners. All the pictures and videos contained on this site may have been collected from different public sources, including different websites, considered to be in public domain. Bobs-backyard.com does not vouch for the accuracy or authenticity of anything posted on it’s pages unless it is specifically stated in the individual post. If you own copyrights to some material such as images or data please contact bobs-backyard.com at bob@bobs-backyard.com to claim your ownership and I will either credit you and/or your website, or if you wish – completely remove the content.
Furthermore…
Please read all instructions and warnings before use. Must be 18 years of age or older to proceed further. Enter at your own risk. Do not enter. Void where prohibited by law. Some assembly required. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. We make no other warranties, expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. May cause drowsiness. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. This page made from 100% recycled electrons. Provided “as-is” without warranty. Reader assumes full responsibility. If erection lasts for more than four hours consult your physician. Discontinue use if nausea or dizziness occurs. This site does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dogs. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life and move on. Terms are subject to change without notice.

Categories

Bob Mooney

Create Your Badge