Afternoon Quickie
It was obvious to Mom and Dad that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie without their 9-year-old son hanging around was to send him out on the balcony. So they ordered him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary, “There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he said. “An ambulance just drove by. It looks like the Andersons have company,” he called out. “Max is riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex.”
Mom and Dad shot up in bed. “How do you know that?” the startled father asked.
“Their kid is standing out on the balcony too.”
An old man and a beaver
A 110-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling.
“I’ve never felt better,” he replies. I’ve got an 18-year-old bride who’s pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?”
The doctor thinks for a moment and says, “Let me tell you a story. I know a guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season but one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, he’s walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him. He raises his umbrella, points it at the beaver, squeezes the handle, and BAM! the beaver drops dead in front of him.”
That’s impossible,” said the old man in disbelief, “someone else must have shot that beaver!”
”Exactly,” said the doctor.
Black Friday Deals
A couple of good deals coming up at Wally World next Friday. I could use a small LCD TV, and they’ll have them for $178.
WalMart has now released their Black Friday advertisement online. See it at BFads.net
Election Analysis
Although I have not always been the most outspoken advocate of President-Elect Barack Obama, today I would like to congratulate him and add my voice to the millions of fellow citizens who are celebrating his historic and frightening election victory. I don’t care whether you are a conservative or a liberal — when you saw this inspiring young African-American rise to our nation’s highest office I hope you felt the same sense of patriotic pride that I experienced, no matter how hard you were hyperventilating with deep existential dread.
Yes, I know there are probably other African-Americans much better qualified and prepared for the presidency. Much, much better qualified. Hundreds, easily, if not thousands, and without any troubling ties to radical lunatics and Chicago mobsters. Gary Coleman comes to mind. But let’s not let that distract us from the fact that Mr. Obama’s election represents a profound, positive milestone in our country’s struggle to overcome its long legacy of racial divisions and bigotry. It reminds us of how far we’ve come, and it’s something everyone in our nation should celebrate in whatever little time we now have left.
So for now, let’s put politics aside and celebrate this historic milestone. In his famous speech at the Lincoln Memorial 45 years ago, Dr. King said “I have a dream that one day my children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Let us now take pride that Tuesday we Americans proved that neither thing matters anymore.
http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2008/11/election-analysis-america-can-take-pride-in-this-historic-inspirational-disaster.html
Places I Steal From
Links
