Monthly Archives: July 2009

Where’s my Shovel?

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, “pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land“.

Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel, this is the promised land“.

Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the promised land.

Pissy

I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic last night.  Man, they get downright pissy when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger.

Our Planet Is Doomed

peoplerfucked

Email Alert!

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu – ignore it.

It’s just spam.

Economics 101

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but failed an entire class this spring.  That class had insisted that Obama’s  socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama’s plan”.  All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.

The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.

As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too, so they studied little.

The second test average was a D!  No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

Could not be any simpler than that.

Ice Cream

Barokie_RoadIn honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: “Barocky Road.”

Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $100.00 per scoop. When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.

You are left with an empty wallet and no change, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream.

Are you stimulated, yet?

Stimulus

stimulus

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