Bob Mooney
Female Celebs with Great Bodies
Who doesn’t like boobs? Nobody. It’s a proven fact. Stephen Hawking recently did a study on it and he found the same conclusion. For your viewing pleasure, here are a few of the top female celebrities with the nicest bodies around, and if your erection lasts longer than four hours, you’re doing something right.
Salma Hayek
Have you seen Desperado? ‘Nuff said. Mrs. Hayek is an actress, producer, director, and writer, who is also one of the most beautiful celebrities around. Curves in all the right places. It’s almost a shame more women don’t look like this.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Did anyone watch Ghost Whisperer because it was good drama? No. Of course not. The actress/singer had mammary glands jutting out of our television sets. If only we’d had 3-D TV back then. In truth, these ladies certainly take their diet, nutrition, exercise, and way of life very seriously, which is very good for our viewing pleasure.
Sofia Vergara
She’s the reason television sets have exploded for no reason. She may also be the reason movie theaters have spontaneously combusted. Beautiful isn’t the right adjective. Nutritionists, dieticians, doctors, fitness experts, and many, many men, have studied the perfection that is Sofia Vergara. And we’re no closer to finding a way to clone her than we were before.
It’s a little known fact, but Stephen Hawking also did a study on butts. His hypothesis was that no one didn’t like butts? And you know what..? He was correct. Let’s get some pics for you to provide conclusive evidence that Hawking is a man that knows what he’s talking about.
Kim Kardashian
She belongs in both catgories. Gorgeous. We actually didn’t need to add a picture of her posterior because it’s already so ingrained in your memory banks, there’s no need.
Shakira
No words are necessary.
Sources
Cleavage
It is indeed a sad state of affairs when there’s no cleavage in the office on a Friday morning. So, for my good friend Brad, here’s a few random cleavage shots from my collection. Enjoy, buddy!
Great Joke Websites
Eventually everyone needs a good laugh sometimes to get through work, college or just life in general. Here are a few resources to check out:
- Aha! Jokes.com – A website dedicated to technology-related humor.
- Funny.com – This site has great jokes and comic animations.
- Jokes Galore – This site makes the claim of having the largest collection of jokes on the internet, with a huge variety of different subjects.
- Jokes.com – This website from Comedy Central offers the best selection of jokes from all sorts of categories. They also have video of professional stand-up comedians.
- JustJoking.com – JustJoking.com contains jokes of a wide variety. Religion, gender, relationships, political, blonde, and much more are included.
- WorkJoke – This site is dedicated to all profession-related jokes. Jokes about accountants to zookeepers can be found here.
- JokeCenter.com – A collection of really silly jokes like “yo mama” and dumb blonde ones are here.
- JokesGallery.com – Alongside the different types of jokes on this site is a wide variety of funny images, video and greeting cards.
- JokesAndHumor.com – On top of the great amount of jokes, this site offers great one-liners and riddles.
- The Onion – This is a fantastic website of American news satire, such as reporting everyday events as newsworthy or humorous commentary on actual events
You can also check out Humor Blogs for comics and a variety of different types of humor.
Sources
Screamable (2012)
TopJokeSites.com (2012)
Crusty Old Biker
A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike and walks inside.
As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:
COLD BEER : $2.00
HAMBURGER : $2.25
CHEESEBURGER : $2.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $3.50
HAND JOB : $50.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the ole’ biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.
She glides down behind the bar to the ole biker. “Yes?” she enquires with a wide, knowing smile, “may I help you?”
The ole biker leans over the bar, “I was wondering, young lady,” he whispers, “are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?”
She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs, “Why, yes…yes, I sure am.”
The ole’ biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly,
“Well, Go wash your hands real good, ’cause I want a cheeseburger.”
Places I Steal From
Links
